The calm before. . .

Everyday I am more and more shocked that my position here at the ol’ publishing house isn’t a part-time gig. How someone can stretch this into 40 hours per week is beyond me.

This is why I’ve almost gone insane.

Counting down the hours until 4pm is one of my favorite things to do. Second is going to the bathroom. I’m a sucker for a change in scenery.

I don’t really know how I’m digesting my conversation with my sister yet. I think I’ve just pretty much accepted that she is who she is, and it has nothing to do with how much I am worth as a person. If my family is not as close as I would like, despite my efforts to reign my Mother and sister in, then there is nothing more that I can do. I have to nurture the relationships I DO have and realize that this has nothing to do with me.

Who needs a therapist? HA!

 I had a good run yesterday. After work, I went home and changed, grabbed Sadie’s leash and my necessities (Mp3 player, keys, ID) and we hopped in the car to go down to the levee. We ran about a mile and walked 2. If I would have hesitated AT ALL when I got home, I probably wouldn’t have even made it out the door. Here’s to spontaneity and the afternoon coffee that helped me push through! Eventually I’ll start keeping a log and really training for a race, but right now I’m being gentle and easy on myself–I’ve had unbelievably high expectations of myself all year, and I’m finally starting to let go. I hope I remember this when the dark days come.


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