10 Minutes

Despite the troubles I’ve been having with binging and dieting this year, I’ve pretty much kept up my workouts. Though I’m not anywhere near my old 6-7 day/week workout schedule, I still manage to get 4-5 workouts in. One drawback that I’ve noticed, though, is that the intensity of my workouts is WAY down, and as a result, I’ve lost a degree of my cardiovascular fitness.

Case in point: running a 10 minute mile. Yesterday, after my husband and I ran about 8 minutes, then commenced walking, I mentioned that one of my goals is to run a 10 minute mile. Now, about 2 or 3 months ago, I was running 30-35 minutes, 3 days per week, plus doing step aerobics/ kickboxing, and lifting weights. Lately, however, I’ve been doing a lot of walking.

Well, my husband suggested that we try it right then. Okay, I thought. I can do this. So we walked down the trail a bit, turned around, and walked to a starting point that would bring us to a mile once we returned to the beginning of the trail. We started.

 I ran a 10 minute mile. It was hell. My lungs and chest hurt so much that tears welled up in my eyes and I got pissed that I had wasted this year and my fitness has suffered so much. But instead of feeling like a failure and wanting to eat everything in sight (the old might as well, I suck mentality) I really saw the abuse and disservice I’ve done to my body. As we walked to the car, my face red as cherries and my lungs one step away from hyperventilation, I thinkI got my mojo back. 🙂


4 responses to “10 Minutes

  1. This is SUCH a tough one for me. Just over 6 months ago, I was at the gym 5 to 6 days a week, doing 45 minutes of cardio most days (and an hour on others). I also lifted a minimum of 4 days a week. I was almost 30 pounds lighter too, I might add. But I was ridiculous about it, counting the calories I’d burned, beating myself up when I missed a workout, etc. After I got married, I quit working out altogether for about 2 months, then started slowly with the aerobics again. Now, I’m doing about 30 minutes of light cardio and a little strength training about 4 times a week. When I compare that to what I was doing, it wasn’t enough. But I think the rigidity with which I was forcing myself to do those other workouts led to further binging and a general depression about myself. Like the intuitive eating, it’s taking time to learn how to be an intuitive exerciser. As long as I’m consistent, I’m hopeful that eventually I’ll be able to strike a balance here, as well.

  2. Hun, you did great yesterday. It was tough but you did it. you wanted to give up, but you didn’t. I see that as a tribute to your inner strength. You started something that you had never done before and you finished it. The ten minute mile will never be as hard for you as it was yesterday. It will only get better from here. You Rock!

  3. incessanthunger

    Jen, it is hard to just be moderate on all things–I’m terrible about being all or nothing. I wonder if all of this binge nonsense might not have been sparked by the year of restriction/hard-core training that I did, and finally I snapped!

    When I started binging this year, I would use exercise to “even it out.” Of course, over time, working out became my punishment, not something good I did for my body. So that might be another way that exercise morphed into something that did not benefit me–at which point I stopped putting my heart into it.

    I like the way a hard workout makes me feel, but I have to remember that it’s not the calories burned–it’s the sense of accomplishment and the courage to do it again that matters.

    Thanks, Christie. And thanks hun!

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