Sunday

Today I’ve slept so much. I feel like my body needed 1000 hours of sleep, and I gave it as much as I could. But, instead of turning today into another waste of breath, I mustered the energy to do the dishes, take a shower, and take my dog for a walk. I also cooked some chicken and cabbage. I’ve been drinking plain water instead of Crystal Light (does the aspartame spark my mental issues? I don’t know. I just thought maybe I should lay off) Sadie and I went for a walk around campus around noon today, and she’s slept ever since. I have to admit that today feels better than yesterday.

It doesn’t erase yesterday, by any means, but in a way the distance of time has made things more bearable. I’m sure that allowing myself to sleep so much today also has some effect on things.

I don’t know why I let myself turn down that road. I knew the moment I woke up that things would get nasty. And sure enough, they did. I wish I knew what to do to stop that cycle. I guess only therapy and perhaps some pharmaceutical assistance might be my only options. Perhaps if I would have totally removed myself from the situation–even if it was just to get dressed and go to the mall of all places, I would have felt better. Lord knows eating and drinking alcohol all day in your pajamas might seem like the life, but when you’re depressed, it only feeds the negativity.

Hum. I can hear my sweet dog yawning in the next room. She makes a tiny squeak when she lets out a big, open yawn. I love her honesty and innocence. This is a picture of us from this past Wedensday. She really makes me smile.  

 sadie-head-beach-audubon063.jpg

I need to make a grocery list this evening, and maybe do some reading. Tomorrow I head on over to the school to pick up a book that the headmaster ordered for me. I’m also going to try to observe a bit, but I’m sure that will end up being a pain in the ass. I guess after that I’ll head over to the store. DH works again tomorrow night, so the binge-patrol will be on in full force. I might also look into a therapist. I need to get this stuff out.

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One response to “Sunday

  1. Can’t recommend a therapist highly enough. Look at it as doing something good for yourself: a friend to listen to you attentively for an hour when you need it most. It’s really about taking care of you: the most important thing of all.

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