As I was folding laundry this morning I started thinking about the fact that I’ve been living the past year in panic mode.
I like being calm–who doesn’t? I think that scrounging around for a crash diet/workout plan is a result of my panic. When I’m relaxed and calm, I just eat like a normal person. As we got closer and closer to home on Sunday, I felt so much anxiety that I stuffed myself with carbs to calm myself down–precicely because I knew that upon coming home I would feel like I had to get a job–no, really make a decision on a life career-pronto. Now, I’m sure that any rational thinking person would realize that this panicky fanaticism only stresses the body out even more, which in turn leads to overeating, stress eating, and making bad decisions.
My hypothesis: I need to calm the f*ck down.
- gradually swap coffee for green tea
- try to incorporate more yoga (finding a good yoga podcast is a start)
- stop looking for any old crap job and give my leads a little time to work themselves out (I was planning on taking the summer off, anyway.)
- And finally, I want to begin reading my materials for my dissertation. I’ve amassed quite a few articles that I want to look over and think about molding my Master’s thesis into something bigger, but I can’t do that if I don’t start somewhere.
What am I waiting for? A written invitation to start my life?
Every second of my day does not HAVE to be a life or death situation. I have got to calm down before I give myself a heart attack before I’m 30.